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Most annoying telephone calls
Posted by: Brent Horst
January 10, 2008
Topic: A day in the life of a criminal defense lawyer
I get all types of telephone calls. I don't mind most of them and am usually happy to spend a few minutes on the telephone with most people and often will even assist individuals who call with legal issues that have nothing to do with criminal law, explaining and providing direction to them on who they should contact or how to find the information they need.
However, there are two calls that I routinely receive that are extremely annoying - so cut it out you guys. The first call goes something like this: Hello, this is Billy Bob, I got charged with (fill in the blank) its just a misdemeanor and If I'm not likely to go to jail I was just wondering if I need a lawyer.
The Second call goes something like this: Hello, this is Billy Bob, ten years ago I plead guilty without a lawyer to (fill in the blank) and had no idea how much having that conviction was going to screw up my ability to (fill in the blank - get a job, own a fire arm, vote, etc) now I want to appeal or have the conviction expunged. Oh, I did not know I had to ask the judge at the time of my plea if I could later expunge the charge, well then lets appeal, what do you mean its too late to appeal , OK then but here is what happened, you see . . . so what can we do, what do you mean nothing, but this conviction is just a pain in the a-- , you see like I said, when me and Bobby Jean . . . so you see even though I plead guilty I wasn't guilty and did not know what I was doing so we must be able to do something. When I get these calls I try my very best and so far I have been able to refrain from screaming ARE YOU KIDDING ME! At least to the caller. To myself this is exactly what I am saying
You know, when I have a leak in my kitchen sink if it is bad enough that I have to ask myself do I need a plumber the first thing I ask the plumber is NOT, do you think I need a plumber? If I Have to ask then chances are I need the plumber. If you have to ask chances are you need a lawyer. Yes, for many minor offenses you can go to court with an attorney and may get the same thing as the guy who was in front of you on the docket who did not have a lawyer, and you may feel like you just wasted that money. However, if you do have an attorney chances are you will not call me ten years later complaining that you plead guilty and now your sorry you did it.
There are defenses to almost every charge and almost every fact pattern. In other words, I don't care how guilty you are there is a way to defend the case. Even if the defense consists of nothing more than exhausting every possible legal challenge in an attempt to wear the state down so that they hopefully get tired of the case and offer a much better deal just to make you (and your annoying attorney - that would be me) go away. If you hire an attorney and still end up pleading guilty and getting the same thing as the other guy you know you did all you could do, and furthermore, if there is a way to have the case expunged or otherwise handled in a manner that the conviction does not follow you forever the attorney will be able to explore that possibility and take care of it. Just as I don't know the procedures for taking apart and repairing the plumbing for a kitchen sink there are procedures to expungements and things of that nature that although simple enough, most non-lawyers do not know how the procedure works simply because they have never dealt with such things. Pleading guilty then ten years later after all procedural deadlines have passed asking me to expunge the case or "do something" to help you is simply TOO LATE.
So, the purpose of my little rant here is simply to say, if keeping your record clean and all your civil rights in tact is important to you my advise even for small misdemeanor charges is yes you do need a lawyer. If you don't please don't call me ten years later complaining about how difficult life is now.
